


Definitely Not Going According to Plan

by DarkMoonMaiden



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Fluff, Humor, Knight!Wade, M/M, Minor Violence, Peter's highly underestimated, Prince!Peter, Slow Build, everyone's done with flash, shamelessly based off of shrek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-19 14:10:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1472674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkMoonMaiden/pseuds/DarkMoonMaiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prince Peter wants to get out of his tower and travel, to see the world and everything he's missed out on by growing up in solitude.</p><p>King Flash wants to have a spouse who'll make his people like him more, and get them to stop whining about stupid things. Like having no food or money.</p><p>Wade wants his property back the way it was--namely, without any mutant refugees camping out on it. And maybe get a cute prince boyfriend along the way.</p><p>Logan just wants to get this damn journey over with so he can get far away from all of these crazy people.<br/>***<br/>Or, where Wade and Logan are tasked with escorting Prince Peter to his soon-to-be husband, and nothing goes the way it was planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by elphiegoescraycray on tumblr. I had way too much fun writing this.

Wade was most certainly not a happy fucking camper.

He enjoyed his life in the swamp. He wasn’t saying it was perfect, not by any means. Yeah, it smelled. And there was something weird living in the waters that only came out at night. And his neighbors decided it would be a good idea to try and run him off his yard every year or so.

But it was his _home,_ goddammit. It was _his_ and he liked his _privacy._

So when he woke up and saw that there was about fifty or so mutants, assorted magical beings and maybe an alien or two, all camped out on his front lawn, he was _not amused._

Wade stumbled out of his hut, desperately rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he took in the sight with growing horror.

“Oi,” he said, then louder, “OI!”

The din of the camp immediately quieted as all of the eyes turned to him. Wade internally cringed at the repulsion that some of them showed at his horribly disfigured face, but there was more pressing matters. Like how his swamp’s population had gone up considerably overnight.

“Wha--where the hell did you all come from?” Wade asked in confusion. “ _How_ did you get here? I mean, this must have happened in less than six hours…”

A girl with bright pink hair piped up, “We had no choice!” There was a general murmur of agreement, many looking down in grief.

“You lost me there real fast,” Wade said blankly, searching the crowd for someone who would explain the situation to him.

Another lady, this one with bright red hair, took a few steps forward. “The new mutant regulations,” she explained, motioning to all of them. “They exiled all of us from our homes. We can’t go back. This is the only place we have left.”

_Well, now don’t I look like the asshole?_

“And who was the idiot who put these rules in place?” he pressed.

“Lord Flash Thompson.” More murmurs of unease from the crowds of trespassers. “If mutants and other...unusual beings weren’t able to be apart of his guard, then we were kicked out of the kingdom.”

“Okay, yeah, that really sucks for you guys, and I feel for you,” Wade said, “but there has to be some _other_ place for you to go. Or a way to get this Lord Douchebag to veto these laws. Better yet, why don’t you guys just start a rebellion and overthrow the patriarchy and start a democracy? There’s enough of you, and y’all have some great powers--”

“All of us have families,” someone piped up. “We don’t have the time or the resources to start a revolution.”

“You should go talk to him for us!”

Immediately there were gasps of agreements, the mood abruptly shifting.

“Whoa, now wait a minute--”

“That’s a brilliant idea!”

“You’re totally terrifying and can scare him into doing what you want!”

“We can finally go home!”

“Hold on a second!”

Everyone silenced and stared at him, hopeful and desperate. Wade was prepared to brush everything off and kick them out, but he made a terrible mistake by meeting their gazes. _Well, shit_.

Brushing a reluctant hand over his face, he grumbled, “Fine! _I’ll_ go talk to him.”

Cheers started up again, and Wade felt a stab of guilt through him for thinking about kicking them out. They were simply victims of circumstance, obviously.

Clapping his hands and rubbing them together, he searched the crowd. “Alright! So who wants to take me to this douchecanoe’s castle?”

Silence. And then they all turned to one man, sitting on a log and smoking.

Logan looked up and scowled. “No.”

***

King Flash Thompson growled in annoyance, looking through the numerous papers. All of them had detailed paintings of unwedded royalty, all of them eager to marry into his family and gain the power and money that came with being the King’s spouse.

“None of these are any _good_ ,” he snarled, shoving one of the stacks off of his ornate desk. “There’s too many for me to go through, and none of them are even _barely_ interesting.”

Lady Emma Frost, unwilling advisor to the king, raised an unconvinced eyebrow. “You’ve barely looked through half of them, my lord.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he spat. “All of their faces are the same.”

She reigned in her irritation, bending down to pick of the papers. She sifted through them rapidly, searching for the most dangerous one. “It doesn’t matter if they’re the one. You just need someone for appearances, for political purposes. A nice, pretty consort to please the people. Take as many lovers and whores as you want afterwards.” _C’mon, there has to be one in here that can get him killed_ …

“Call me modern, if you will, but I’m all about monogamy,” the King said, getting up to prowl the study like a caged animal. “No, this has to be the _one._ Do you know how bad it would look if I just married someone to sit on a throne and let everyone _coo_ and _fawn_ over them?”

 _That’s exactly what he’s doing,_ the guards thought, shifting in their armor. Lady Frost gave them a discreet smirk before rifling through the papers again. One of the finally caught her attention—more importantly, the word _dragon_ did.

“How about this one, my lord?” Lady Frost interrupted Flash’s tirade, handing him the piece of paper. “Prince Peter Parker, heir to Parker throne. He’s handsome, witty, and guarded by a dangerous dragon in an abandoned castle. A courageous fight for someone so noble and handsome will surely please the public.”

 _And hopefully get him killed_ , she telepathically finished to the guards in the room. She could practically see them vibrate with eagerness.

Lady Frost saw how King Flash’s eyes light up as he skimmed the prince’s biography. He only read the first sentence before he shoved it back towards her. “Show me what he looks like,” he commanded.

Focusing on the nearby mirror, Lady Frost conjured up an image of the prince. He was no older than the king, brown hair unruly with a delicate silver crown on his head. His tunic was of a deep red, with lovely blue accents, and he was focused on a chessboard, eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks. The telepath may have accentuated a few of the features—casting a few more shadows to exaggerate his cheekbones—but the prince was handsome enough that not much ‘editing’ was needed.

King Thompson was immediately smitten.

“He’s perfect,” the king said reverently. “He’s the one.”

“Yes, he’s definitely…” Lady Frost trailed off as she came to the bottom of the page. “Oh. Perhaps—“

“Guards, arrange for a tournament!” King Flash ordered, turning away from his advisor. “I want only the ablest of men to compete for the chance to fetch my bride. The reward shall be five thousand gold pieces!”

“Oh dear.” Lady Frost bit her lip as the king left the room, holding the paper that announced Prince Peter to be a mutant. _I believe I’ve just made a great mistake._

***

“So,” Wade started cheerfully, “where ya from?”

Logan didn’t answer, choosing to build up their fire at the center f their small camp.

Wade grimaced. “Alrighty then. What about any hobbies? Do you have any hobbies? I bet you’re into some sport that has to do with your claws. Fencing? Bare-knuckle boxing?”

“I don’t have a hobby.”

“You should totally pick one up. They’re relaxing and might make your face not look like you just got a stick shoved up your—“

Logan growled warningly.

“What? I’m only speaking as a concerned friend.”

“We are _not_ friends.”

“You should start up knitting. Break those stereotypes people have of tough, burly guys. Hey, you could even make money out of it! Think about it: you could start a business and give them to the mothers in your neighborhoods. You’d be a _total_ hit. Might even get you laid.”

Logan abruptly stood up. “I’m going to hunt dinner. Don’t let the fire go out.”

“Rude,” Wade grumbled while Logan left, crossing his arms.  There was a warning snarl from the bushes, and the mutant huffed. _Well, the joke’s on him, because I have no clue how to keep this fire going and it’s about to rain._

***

Entering the king’s tournament had been a pure accident. Really. One minute Wade had been marching into the castle, ready to make his voice known, and then he and Logan had been surrounded by soldiers and labeled contestants.

The fight was pathetic against the two regenerating mutants. Every sword or shot that landed on them was healed immediately, and the damage was returned threefold. By the end of a mere ten minutes, the thirty other contestants were groaning and rolling around on the dirt floor. The spectators were in a frenzy, roaring in excitement at the two mutants who had bested the kingdom’s top soldiers.

The rage was plain on King Flash’s face. “How _dare_ you interrupt my tournament on such a sacred day.”

“How dare _you_ for kicking out the mutants from your kingdom and making them hole up in _my_ swamp! I want them out, y’hear me? Take them back, because I sure as hell don’t want ‘em!”

“Guards! Guards, arrest—“

Lady Frost raced up to the king, interrupting his orders. “My liege, they’re mutants,” she muttered in his ear, “with healing factors. Wouldn’t they be the best choice to send to retrieve Prince Peter?”

“They beat my best men to a pulp,” the king hissed back.

“Exactly. Doesn’t that prove their fighting skills and worth? They’re _more_ than capable of slaying the dragon and bring your husband-to-be home safe. And in return for their help, we’ll find a new place for the mutants to go. It’s a deal they won’t refuse.”

The king mulled over it in silence, as the crowds in the stands shifted and whispered worriedly together, concerned about whatever King Flash and Lady Frost were saying.

Finally, the anger on King Flash’s face morphed into calculating glee. “I believe we can come to an agreement, mutant,” he called down to him, resting his head on his fist. “A trade of services, if you will.”

Wade crossed his arms, hips cocked to one side. “What kind of services?” he asked suspiciously.

“Don’t try to bargain with him,” Logan muttered to him, fists still clenching and unclenching, preparing for another fight. “You’ll just get us into bigger trouble.”

“Hush, my trusty sidekick.”

“I will put your head through a _wall._ ”

“Retrieve my darling betrothed, Prince Peter Parker,” King Flash continued on, “from his prison, and I shall return the mutants to their homelands.”

“Safely,” Wade prodded. “And peacefully.”

King Flash’s smile went strained. “Safely and peacefully,” he assured him.

“My loyal men and women,” the king addressed the throngs of people. “Though we had a bit of a surprise, all has ended well! I present to you with my knight, Sir…”

“Wade Wilson.”

“Sir Wilson!”

The crowd cheered, and Wade basked in the attention, arms raised and a grin on his face. He could have stood there for hours, soaking up their cheers, but the guards had a different idea. They dragged the scarred man to the armory, Logan trailing after him while muttering curses.

The attendants in the royal armory fitted Wade in fine, heavy armor, giving him a broadsword that was supposedly ‘kissed by the gods,’ and poisonous to dragons. When they attempted to do the same to Logan, he sent them scurrying with a low growl.

“Look how cool I look,” Wade exclaimed, admiring himself in the mirror. “I’m so _gallant!_ Like a real knight, the pompous ones that are always in children’s tales! Hot damn, if my mamma could see me now…”

“You can fawn over yourself later,” Logan said, roughly grabbing Wade by the arm and dragging him out of the armory. “We have a prince to get, and then I never have to see your face again.”

“I take major offense to that!”

Lady Frost leaned out of the window, watching the two chosen knights bicker and attempt to crawl onto their horses. When they both fell off, she let out a piteous moan.

“I am surrounded by _fools_ ,” she seethed, turning away with a flick of her white cape.

***

“This is kind of exciting now,” Wade said, hands rubbing together. “I didn’t think this would turn into an adventure. How awesome is that?” No response from his traveling partner. “And this armor, man, it’s great! A shame that we couldn’t keep the horses, though.”

They had had to abandon their horses within an hour of their journey. Wade was unable to stay steady on his, while Logan’s horse continuously tried to buck him off out of fear. The duo left them at the next house they passed, giving the farmer there a few coins to take them back to the king.

“Man, the summers here are so hot,” Wade complained, fanning himself. “I just want to throw myself into the next stream I see.”

“You know what I want? _Silence_ ,” Logan said with fake cheeriness.

“Sorry, the bugs and birds are too noisy for that. Speaking of animals, what’s your favorite? You seem a bit like a dog man to me. Or maybe a wolverine. _Ha!_ Did you see what I did there? Since everyone calls you that.”

Logan growled warningly, his pace picking up so Wade struggled to keep up. Even if the armor was dashing and made him look like a real knight, it was still painfully heavy and made walking harder than it should be.

“Whoa, hey, slow down there, speedster! Geez, I was just trying to make conversation. No need to get your panties in a twist.”

Logan whipped around, gripping the top of Wade’s breastplate to yank their faces together. “Stop. Talking.” He stared Wade in the eyes for a few more moments to emphasize his point before he let go, pushing the knight away. He continued walking.

Wade stood, stunned, before following. “Was I supposed to pop a boner from that?”

Logan made a pained sound, face scrunching tightly.

“Nah, just kidding, dude. You probably would have heard it hit the suit if I had. And you’re not really my type. I don’t go for lumberjacks who smell like they haven’t bathed in weeks.”

“You’re one to talk,” Logan muttered. “Enhanced sense of smell makes you almost unbearable.”

“Oh, _that’s_ why you were trying to get away from me!” Wade exclaimed. “I was worried you hated me for a second.” He ignored the meaningful look that Logan gave him.  “Yeah, when you live in a swamp alone, you don’t really worry about personal hygiene. Bet the suit doesn’t help much, either. It’s getting pretty gross in here.”

“Why _are_ you still wearing that gimmick?” Logan motioned distastefully at the silver armor.

“Why not?” Wade shrugged. “It makes me look cool.”

“But you don’t _need_ it. You have a healing factor. It just slows ya down and makes you reek.”

“But it makes me _look cool_.”

Fighting back the urge to strangle his scarred companion, Logan went back to the stony silence he held before.

***

Peter sighed, moving the pawn on his chessboard. “Check.”

Outside of his window, the dragon let out a huff of annoyance, glancing down at Peter's chessboard before moving the pawn on her own, larger set. The past rulers of the castle had apparently been big gamers, and had invested in an overly large chessboard in the courtyard for parties. Incidentally, it was the perfect size for a dragon to play.

The dragon pondered a moment before moving a piece. She hissed triumphantly, smoke billowing out of her nose. _Checkmate._

Peter moaned, rubbing a hand over his face. "Okay, I'm done for the night," he said, rearranging the pieces. "I don't want my ass kicked anymore by a dragon."

His guardian cooed, concern clear in her golden eyes. Usually, he’d be willing to play at least another five rounds or so before calling it quits. She leaned closer to the window until her snout was practically in the room, silently questioning.

Peter tried to wave off her worries while he changed into his sleep clothes. "I'm fine," he said halfheartedly. "Just...the usual stuff."

The dragon rumbled sadly, tilting her head in resignation. Both of them knew that there was nothing they could do about Peter's imprisonment, and there was no point in repeating old complaints. There were only a certain number of times you could whine about being stuck in a tower before it lost its appeal.

Prince Peter and his guardian dragon had come to a sort of impasse. The first couple of months that Peter had been in the tower, nothing but a preteen who had been ripped away from his family, he had been terrified and angry and scared. He avoided the dragon at all costs, hiding under his bed when she would stick her head in his window. Peter didn’t start opening up to her until the day she had dropped a small bag containing a sweetcake into his room. (He didn’t bother questioning where it came from. He had learned quite fast that when magic came into play, it was better to just not ask.)

Peter was absently debating whether or not a nap would be a good idea when the dragon let out a threatening growl, a hiss building in the back of her throat. Immediately Peter sat up, staring intently at the window. A wide grin spread over his face.

“I guess it’s that time again,” he hummed, hearing the dragon slither into the shadows of the ruined castle, preparing to kill and probably eat whoever was attempting to rescue Peter.

Mixed feelings always surrounded the arrival of a new knight or lord. On one hand, there was always the excitement of getting a chance at freedom--to finally find a husband or wife who could free him of his curse, and take him to live with them happily in their homelands. But dozens and dozens of disappointments had embittered him and tampered his joy--only one or two people had ever even made it to the courtyard before the dragon and swooped down on them.

This could be the one, though. Prince Peter hadn’t given up hope yet.

***

“That’s a fucking lake of lava,” Wade said in awe, staring down at the moat of fire below him. “Like. An actual lake of _lava_.”

Logan tested out the rickety bridge, pressing his foot down to see what it could take. “Yeah, it was mentioned a bunch of times by the king. Didja listen at all?”

“Nah, ‘course not, he’s a tool,” Wade said, taking confident steps towards the bridge.

“Jesus, be careful,” Logan hissed, dragging his traveling companion away. “That thing’s a death trap.”

“Well, y’know, neither of us can die…”

“Yeah, but our _skin_ can still get melted off.”

“Pessimist.”

Logan shoved him forward again. “Whatever. You go first. I’ll follow if you don’t break the damn thing.”

Even though he had put up a brave front, Wade was about to piss his suit. Every step he took made the bridge crack ominously, and every so often splinters would fall down below or the lava would bubble.  Swallowing nervously, he forced himself across, keeping his gaze focused up on the cloudy sky to avoid vertigo or losing his nerve.

He reached the other side safely, and motioned for Logan to come across. Much to his glee, the older mutant seemed to be having a worse time crossing the rickety path than Wade did. Logan kept his eyes squeezed shut and was spitting curses loud enough that Wade could hear him.

“Tsk, tsk!” Wade called out to him. “You should have your mouth washed out with soap!” The look Logan gave him startled a laugh out of him.

“Good job!” Wade cheered when Logan was standing next to him. “First challenge cleared! Now we just need to kill the dragon and get the prince. How are we gonna do this? Are we going to sneak around the dragon and take the guy, or charge it and _then_ get the guy?”

The dragon made the decision for them. The ground shook as she let out a ferocious roar, taking flight and circling around the ruins.

“Welp, shit.”

Logan and Wade went sprinting towards an outcrop of rocks, diving behind them as the dragon swooped down and aimed a breath of fire at them. The air around them became nearly impossible to breath due to the dry heat, but it stopped moments later when the dragon took a breath and went back in the air, circling.

“You go get the prince,” Logan yelled over the dragon’s screeches. He didn’t wince when his claws ripped their way out of his knuckles, tense and ready to move. “I’ll distract the dragon.”

After the dragon swooped down another time, unsuccessfully burning the men, Logan leaped out, running away from the castle door. The dragon spotted him and landed heavily on an arch, snapping powerful jaws at him. Holding his breath, Wade went sprinting to the heavy doors. His armor clanked together loudly, and momentarily distracted the dragon before she had her attention once again drawn to Logan, who had scraped his claws across her scaled muzzle.

Wade shimmied into the castle through the partially open door, dragging it shut as quickly as he could. The inside was dark, save for the reddish glow that seeped in from the small windows. Sword drawn nervously, Wade made his way through the ruins, jumping at every shadow, prepared for any wayward dragon or wizard or shapeshifting-wizard-dragons.

It actually took an embarrassingly long time to find the right tower. He went as fast as he could, but it took him five tries before he found a tower that wasn’t blocked in some way. All the while, Logan was roaring angrily back and forth with the dragon as they no doubt had an epic battle. _This has to be the right one_.

Inside his room, Prince Peter’s heart was beating rapidly. This was it. His knight was climbing the stairs. He could _hear_ him. Straightening his tunic and attempting to brush down his untamable hair, Peter settled on his bed, pretending to be asleep as his mother had taught him to do so many years ago. It was apparently romantic for a knight to find his betrothed asleep, waiting for him.

Wade scaled the narrow stairs until he reached a large wooden door—the prince’s chamber. Heart beating fast, he turned the key that was in the lock, metal groaning loudly. Preparing for the best--because hell yeah, attractive prince that was going to swoon and then twice his weight in gold from the asshole King--Wade pushed the door open.

Or at least tried to.

“No,” Wade mumbled, banging against the closed door helplessly. “No, no, _no--_ ”

Peter stared at the door, now sitting cross-legged on his bed with his chin in his hands. Seriously? _This_ was his knight in silver armor? The one that the witches and his parents prophesized? He couldn’t even open the door properly. This was just embarrassing.

He could hear the knight’s whining from behind the door, and Peter debated on whether he should help him; it was intriguing and amusing to listen to the agonized moans and pounding on the door. He reluctantly decided to relent and assist the for the sake of time--Peter was eager to finally get out of this stupid tower after all of these years.

Bracing a foot on the wall and grabbing the door handle, Peter yanked as hard as he could. Metal hinges screamed in protest as finally, after years of being sealed, the door swung open. A blur of silver came tumbling in, unable to stop his momentum. There was a squawk of surprise and Peter found himself sprawled on the floor, a knight in heavy armor barely catching himself over him.

He stared into the knight’s eyes under the darkness of the helmet, a smile growing on his face. “Hi,” Peter swallowed, gaze flickering to where Wade’s lips should be.

 _Oh no, he’s so hot_.

Panicking, Wade stood up, yanking the prince up to his feet. Peter yelped, dazed and confused as the other dragged him out of the room. “C’mon, we gotta go before the dragon realizes I’m here.”

Peter stared at him, brow furrowed. “What--you didn’t _kill_ the _dragon_?” he demanded, ripping his arm out of Wade’s grip.

“Of course I didn’t!” Wade defended himself, voice raising. “How would a single man manage to kill that thing? It’s, like, twenty times bigger than me.”

Peter groaned, running a hand anxiously through his messy hair. “You’re doing this all wrong,” he accused. “There’s a reason the dragon’s there. You’re supposed to _prove_ yourself--”

“Look, do you wanna get out of here or you do want to sit here and debate semantics?” Wade broke in angrily, shaking the prince. “Because the longer we sit and talk, the less chance we have of getting out of here.”

They stared at each other tensely, neither saying anything.

“Fuck it,” Prince Peter finally said, and dragged Wade the rest of the way down the staircase.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as I was writing this, I realized I should break this into three parts instead of two. So, here's the next part!

Wade and Peter had found Logan near the entrance of the castle, throwing rocks at the dragon. Peter was shocked to see the other person, but didn’t let it stop him again. His reptilian friend was so enraged that she couldn’t recognize the prince, and wouldn’t hesitate to burn him along with the knight.

They barely managed to escape, fire singeing Logan’s hair and heating Wade’s armor to the point that he feared he would be boiled alive. Peter was their savior—he had nimbly led the dragon away, until she was in a part of the castle where the ruins were narrowly balanced. As her scaled tail whipped around angrily, it struck one of the pillars, and down came a pile of rubble.

“C’mon, that won’t hold her forever,” Peter said as he returned to the other two. “There’s a tunnel over there, it’s safer than the bridge.”

Not knowing what else to do, the knight and his companion chased after the freed prince.

When they were far, far away from the castle, Wade and Logan leaned against a tree, panting heavily. Prince Peter was laughing gleefully, spinning around with his arms thrown out.

“How the hell is he still standing?” Wade panted, gesturing weakly towards the prince. “He’s been in a _tower_ all his life. He’s supposed to be, like, totally weak and out of shape.”

“I’m not an expert on tower-princes, bub,” Logan growled, straightening up and cracking his back. “Hoi, prince!”

Peter turned around, a wide smile still on his face as he approached. He leaned in close enthusiastically, “That was _incredible_!” he gushed immediately. “You both reached the tower so fast. No one’s even reached the inside of the castle before! How did you do it, sir knight? More importantly, what is your name? From where do you hail?”

“Slow down there, kid,” Logan said nervously, gently pushing the prince away. “First of all, I’m not the knight. He is.” He jammed a thumb towards Wade, who was balancing on one foot as he shook a rock out of his metal boot. Startled at the abrupt mention of himself, Wade lost his balance and stumbled gracelessly into a bush.

“Oh.” Peter hid his grimace as Wade struggled to stand back up, but the joy was soon back. “So _you’re_ the knight who rescued me?”

“Seems like it,” Wade said cheerily. He thrust out his hand. “Sir Wade Wilson, your Grace.”

“Prince Peter Parker,” the other responded politely, taking Wade's gloved hand and shaking it.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh, it’s probably not. But thanks anyway.”

“Ah, so,” Peter said in the silence that followed, clapping his hands and rubbing them together. “Where are we off to?”

“King Flash’s kingdom,” Logan answered in a grunt, already starting to walk in that direction. He didn’t bother looking back to see if the knight and prince were following him.

“Oh!” Prince Peter smiled beautifully at Wade as they walked. “Is that where we’re going to live?”

Wade choked on his breath. “Where _we--?_ Oh no, no, no. I’m not marrying you. And dear God, neither is Logan, so don’t even say it.”

A frown formed on Peter’s face. “So…then why did you guys rescue me from the tower?”

“For the King,” Wade answered matter-of-factly. “He sent the best knight he could find—also known as _me—_ out to slay the dragon and bring you back to his castle.”

Peter slowly stopped walking, causing Wade to run into his back. Logan looked back at them, eyebrow raised. “Why didn’t he just come out here himself?” he questioned.

“I ‘unno. I guess he had kingly matters to attend to,” Wade shrugged.

“He was too much of a pussy,” Logan clarified sagely.

A frown was growing on Peter’s face. “Well…is he at least nice?”

“As long as you’re not ‘mutant scum,’ then yes,” Wade smiled mockingly. “So I’m sure you’re safe.” Patting Peter on the shoulder, he missed the flash of worry across the prince’s face.

They walked on for a good few miles as Peter mulled over their words. Logan and Wade noticed, and an uneasy feeling grew in the knight’s stomach. But none of them were going to say anything, at least not yet, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to bring it up.

It all came to a head when they stopped for a midday break.

Logan and Wade stared at Peter. “Excuse me?” the older mutant asked blankly.

Prince Peter’s jaw tightened. “I’m not going with you to King Flash,” he repeated. He smiled at them brightly. “It was nice meeting you guys, but I’ve decided that marrying a king isn’t really something I want to do right now. Maybe in a few years, after I’ve travelled—“

“No, no, back up there, kid,” Logan interrupted, holding up a hand. “You can’t just _not_ come with us.”

Peter shrugged. “I think I can. Look, it’s nothing personal. I’m not comfortable with marrying someone I’ve never met, and have better things to do.”

“I need to get my swamp back!” Wade screeched. “You are _coming with us_ to the castle, you’re going to marry the shitty king, and I’m going to get my swamp back, free from random squatters!”

The friendly glint in Peter’s eyes was rapidly disappearing, replaced with a harder, stubborn light. “I hate to be an ass, but I don’t really care about your swamp. I’ve just spent the majority of my life in a _tower._ I want to go and explore the world a bit before I settle down with someone I’ve never met, who’s too much of a wimp to even come and get me.” He took a step back, and Wade and Logan tensed. Slowly, Logan’s claws were unsheathed.

“I really think you’re going to come with us to King Flash,” Wade repeated. “I’m getting my damn swamp back.”

Peter opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a blur of green, which flew through the air and took him with it. Landing on a branch, dazed, Peter stared at his blonde rescuer. She grinned broadly at him, winking as more men in green came out of the bushes, wielding various weapons.

“Hey, that’s _our_ prince!” Wade squawked at them.

“Nonsense,” the lady snorted. “I won’t let you rogues continue this kidnapping! I heard how you threatened him!”

Logan tried to get a say in, “No, you don’t know the full picture, it’s really—“

“I don’t need to hear this. Men! Attack!”

Letting out war cries, the men charged the two, catching them completely off guard.

Feeling the need to take pity on them, Peter turned to his blonde savior. “Um, miss—“

“Gwen, please,” she corrected him, still smiling. “Gwen Stacey, at your service.”

“Yes, Gwen, it’s a pleasure to meet you, but, ah, they were kind of telling the truth,” Peter said awkwardly. “They weren’t kidnapping me.”

She cocked her head in confusion. “I’m not really following. That one over there was totally about to stab you.”

“Well, yeah. He probably was.”

“I wasn’t!” Logan snapped up at him, barely dodging a spike that was lodged at his head from one of the mutants clad in green. “It was intimidation!”

“Not helping your point,” Peter called back down to him. “Anyway. Could you kind of call off your men? It’s all a bit of a huge misunderstanding.”

“How about you tell me what happened?” Gwen said, sitting down on the tree branch. Peter sat next to her, accepting the apple she produced from her bag.

“So I was kind of trapped in a tower guarded by a dragon for the majority of my life,” Peter explained around a bite of the fruit. “Too confusing to explain why. Those two were the ones who got me out. Kind of. They got in, and I got them out. That part’s not important.”

“It seems like a suspicious amount of parts are unimportant,” Gwen commented.

“I’m trying to tell you the fast version so those two don’t get maimed. Did I mention that they also have healing factors and can’t die?”

“Eh. It’s practice for the men. You keep going.”

“Alrighty. So, they rescued me from the tower, and I was taught that that meant I was going to marry one of them. Y’know, the classic ‘damsel in the tower’ scenario everyone is fond of.”

“Oh, I get it. A cousin of mine had the same thing happen to her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but it ended up working out, since the snake who was guarding her bit him and he died from the poison. She inherited his castle and is living in luxury.”

“Good for her! See, I wasn’t that lucky. The King hired them to come get me.”

“Ugh!” Gwen wrinkled her nose distastefully. “What a wimp.”

“Exactly! That’s why we were arguing. They want me to go because of some agreement they made with the king, and I was kind of freaking out.”

“I can see why,” Gwen agreed with him, watching as one of her men iced Wade’s glove, making him yelp and rip it off. “King Flash is…unpredictable.”

Peter winced. “Yeah, I know. He wants me to be his husband, though. And I’ve decided it would be easier and better for everyone involved if I just go to him.” He looked up in surprise when Gwen put a concerned hand on his shoulder.

“Are you sure? You don’t have any obligations to marry him,” she pressed.

“No, I kinda do,” he laughed awkwardly. “It’s alright. I’ll deal with it. Will you call them off of them, now?”

“Sure.” She whistled sharply, and the men jumped away from Wade and Logan, releasing them from where they had the duo pinned on the ground.

Gwen and Peter jumped off the tree branch while Logan and Wade tried to regain their dignity. At their leader's commands, the men handed over traveling packs to the trio.

“Take care, alright?” the bandit told the prince, clapping him on the shoulder. “Kick that king into shape. Do something about those shitty mutant laws.”

“I definitely will,” he assured her, eyes flashing. They shared a grin, and parted ways.

***

Logan and Wade were understandably pissed about the whole experience with Gwen and her crew of bandits, but none of the bruises and cuts had lasted for more than an hour. Grudgingly, though, they gave him kudos for getting them out of the situation without any more bloodshed, and willingly going along with them to King Flash.

As they continued, though, Wade developed a problem.

A really, really, really big problem. Which he blamed Peter fully for. Because seriously, who was allowed to be so adorably sarcastic and awkwardly cute? Especially when he knew that Peter’s spouse should be the one that rescued him (namely, Wade).

Logan wasn’t helping, either. He seemed to almost encourage it—he wanted to ruin King Flash’s life in any petty way that he could, and ruining his chances with his betrothed sounded like an excellent idea. The oldest mutant in their group would be gone for hours at a time, leaving Wade and Peter alone, and making sure they walked next to each other during the day. At night, their bedrolls would always end up side by side, even if they had been on opposite sides of the campfire at the beginning.

It was a stupid move, _such_ a stupid move for Wade not to push Peter away when the prince started to flirt with him. It was ridiculous to think that he could steal the _king’s_ fiancé. Him—a lowly mutant who had scars covering the majority of his body. So not only did he have the poor factor against him, but the ugly one as well.

Yet Peter didn’t stop the returned flirting. In fact, he was the one who kept it going, coyly asking to know more about the knight, complimenting him on his sense of humor and laughing at his ridiculous jokes.

Occasionally, Peter would hint that he wanted to see Wade’s face. The entire journey, Wade had managed to avoid taking off the helmet when Peter was around. During mealtimes, he would conveniently realize that no one had patrolled the perimeter of camp yet, or that the fire needed more wood. Peter didn't outright ask, and Wade was quite happy playing dumb.

Their time together ran shorter as the trio neared the kingdom. Peter grew more somber, knowing that his wedding was getting closer, and Wade grew more anxious, torn between making a lasting impression on the prince and letting him go. The scarred knight just wished he could take things slower, so he could get to know Peter better and perhaps make the prince like him back. Wade kept putting off talking to the prince about their relationship, putting it off and off.

Finally, it was too late.

They cleared the forest, emerging out onto a hill that overlooked the surrounding area. Prince Peter reached the outside first and looked around in awe. “Is that it?” he breathed, pointing to the silhouette of the castle against the night sky.

Logan nodded. “That’s the king’s castle, your highness.” He dropped his rucksack on the ground. “We’ll stop here for the night and leave in the morning. Should be there before lunchtime.”

The motions in setting up camp were routine by now. Logan went to scavenge up some food, while Prince Peter and Wade gathered firewood and made sure there weren’t any nearby animals that could attack them. Eventually, Logan came back with a couple of rabbits, skinning them while the other two sat on opposite ends of the campsite and avoided eye contact.

Dinner was finished, and Peter stood, muttering something about calling it a night. He wandered over to the other side of the hill, the one that overlooked the castle, sitting on the grass.

Wade jumped when Logan roughly shoved him, wrenching away from his thoughts. “Ow, _what_?” he hissed angrily at the gruff mutant.

“Go do something about him,” Logan growled in a whisper.

“What do you expect me to do?”

“I’m not a relationship councilor. Go talk to him or something.”

“I don’t—“

“Go. Talk to. Him.”

Throwing his hands in the air, Wade walked over to the prince. He threw himself down in the grass, armor clunking loudly. Peter didn’t acknowledge him at first, choosing to continue staring at the distance. Wade opened his mouth a few times to say something, but clicked his jaw shut before anything came out. The knight sighed, laying down and staring at the sky.

“I never saw these many stars in my castle,” Peter said out of the blue. “The lava made them hard to see, even when there wasn’t smoke.”

“That…sucks,” Wade said, uncertain of how to respond.

“Yeah,” Peter agreed, lips quirking upwards. “Especially when the majority of books I had were on astronomy. Cruel irony, am I right?” He sighed heavily, running a hand through his messy hair.

“Well,” Wade said thoughtfully, “at least you’ll be able to see them now. King Thompson’s probably conquered some region that has a great view of the stars.”

Peter bit his lip, humming. They lapsed into silence again, both of them staring off at the castle and the stars. Uncertainly, Peter angled his body towards Wade. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it, licking his bottom lip. Wade warily sat up, watching the prince struggle for words. “Can…can I kiss you?” he finally said. “Before I go.”

Wade swallowed, his throat unbearably dry. “Your fiancé wouldn’t like that,” he said tightly.

Peter sighed, kicking a stray rock. His face flushed with embarrassment, and Wade ached to soothe him, but he knew he couldn’t. It was better if he let Peter think what he wanted and let this crush die away. “I guess he wouldn’t,” the prince agreed sadly.

There was silence again, before Peter startled Wade. “Will you at least take off your helmet?”

Wade spluttered, reaching for an excuse. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea, it’s sort of stuck on, y’see, and I can’t take it off, has been since we left the castle—“

“You’re lying.” Prince Peter’s brow furrowed, and it would have been fucking adorable if he hadn’t called Wade out on his bullshit. “I saw it by the river when you went to bathe.”

Wade floundered desperately for something else, but Peter interrupted him again. “I don’t care if you’re ugly, you know. I really don’t. You saved my life, so why should I care about your face?”

“You would if you saw it,” Wade finally said, subconsciously reaching towards the scars on his face through the metal helmet. “It’s not a pretty sight.”

“I just said I don’t _care_ if you’re ugly,” Peter pressed, scooting across the ground to get closer. “Please, Wade. Don’t I at least deserve to see the face of the man who rescued me?”

Wade’s silence encouraged Peter. Moving slowly, giving the knight ample time to push him away, Peter took ahold of the dented metal and removed it from his head. Wade quickly turned away, hiding his face from Peter. Undeterred, even at the sight of the scars wrapping around the back of Wade’s head, Peter put a hand on Wade’s cheek and gently urged him to turn.

Keeping his eyes closed, Wade feared Peter’s reaction. He didn’t want to see the disgust, the repulsion that would shine on that beautiful face. It would wreck him for life. He squeezed them tighter when he heard the prince’s sharp intake of breath.

Calloused hands rested on either side of Wade’s face, and Peter whispered, “What…what _happened_ , Wade?”

When Wade finally opened his eyes, he was stunned to see that Peter looked…concerned? And not at all disgusted. Just worried. He even kept his hands on Wade’s horrendous face, going as far as to soothingly stroke his thumb over his cheek.

“I caught a disease that was plaguing my village,” Wade uttered gruffly, frozen under Peter’s delicate touch. “No one was surviving from it. Horrible sores would open on the skin, and wouldn’t close before you would eventually die a gruesome, hallucination-filled death. Lucky for me, my mutation showed itself right when I was about to die, and they all scarred over.”

Peter winced in sympathy. “Do they still hurt?” he asked hesitantly.

Wade stared at him, barely comprehending. “Ah, no. Not anymore. Just a bit sensitive when people touch them.” Immediately Peter’s hands were off him, and a sense of longing filled the knight. “You can still touch, if you want. But I don’t see why you would want to.”

“If it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t,” Peter shrugged, hands resting on his knees.

“It—it doesn’t.” Wade reached out and grabbed Peter’s hand again, placing it on his cheek. Peter started in surprise, blinking. The smile came back, and he brushed his thumb gently over the scars.

“Well, you’re still kind of cute.”

Wade gasped indignantly, “You’re lying! I am _totally_ not cute!” Peter laughed in response. “I am _manly._ ”

“You can be manly _and_ cute,” Peter argued, hand drifting down to rest on Wade’s neck.  “It’s, like, exactly what you are.” He bit back another laugh at Wade’s pout. “It’s not a bad thing. I like it.”

They stared at each other for what felt like ever, tense and uncertain. Peter’s hand was a brand on Wade’s neck, and the knight was almost positive if he looked there later, there would be a handprint seared into his skin. Both were waiting for something, but neither were completely sure for what.

Finally, Peter pulled away, letting out a shaky breath. “I’m calling it a night,” he said softly. He stood up, brushing a few specks of dirt and blades of grass from his tunic. “Sleep well, sir knight.”

He turned around and went to his spot by the fire, leaving Wade alone on the hillside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Comments/kudos much appreciated!
> 
> If you have any questions/things you want me to write, send me an ask: darkmoonmaiden.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments/kudos much appreciated.
> 
> If you have any questions/prompts for me to write, send me an ask: darkmoonmaiden.tumblr.com


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